PDX Urban Outdoorsman

If ever you believe your life is screwed up just spend an afternoon at Day Watch and you will realize things are not nearly as bad as you thought.

On the other side of the room is Filibuster who can talk and talk and not say a damn thing. It seems he has tiny amounts of information on a broad array of subjects, none of which is accurate. One night last week he was telling of how not only God create, but all of us could. Intrigued I asked him to show me, that was a mistake that I would later pay for. After a long diatribe of how he chose not to do so for entertainment value I let him know I just wanted him to prove his statement. It’s not like I was asking much of him, just a pickle. Is a pickle too much to ask for? Needless to say I did not get a pickle. From that point he followed me like a lost puppy spouting off with all manner of crap no living soul would show any interest in what-so-ever. At one point I told him we would have to agree to disagree but that did not work. Eventually I had no choice but to leave with what little sanity I had left. Yesterday I saw him approaching with a gleam in his eye and had no choice but to nip this problem in the bud. I looked at him like a dog that had just soiled the carpet and said in a very stern voice while shaking a finger in his direction “NO!”. It seemed to work because he wont even make eye contact with me now.

I have learned to savor the small victories.

With breakfast being served at paranoia park I was able to sleep in till 8 o’clock this morning. Beats the hell out of 5:30… Plus I don’t have to start my day at Portland Rescue mission which is a good start to any day. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the Missionn so much as the clients. Unfortunately the staff at the mission perpetuate the problem. Oh sure they have rules that are read prior to every meal it’s just that they are not enforced. As you can guess this means there are those who choose to break those rules blatantly w/o so much as a peep from the staff. The feed at paranoia goes on for about 2 hours which makes for a nice relaxed morning.

What the hell did I do this afternoon?

Oh yeah, I watched Slingblade on my laptop from the library. WiFi and I can charge the battery for the evening so I can write this from the Portland Building.

Had dinner under the Burnside bridge and ate like a pig as did The Kid and the Flying Scotsman*. Before dinner I found The Kid at the waterfront talking with The Old Man. While gathering The Kid’s crap some guy walked up asking for a light. I thought he had a rolley but it turned out to be a joint. It was his 27th birthday so he was treating himself and I was lucky enough to get 2 hits. As you can imagine that was a nice appetite enhancement.

Ydnew was there and put on some entertainment before the meal. Shortly after that the Shadow Boxer showed up but he was taking the night off which meant he didn’t paint his head with something that will stick to it.

I almost forgot to tell you about this little gem. So I’m walking along Waterfront Park and every nitwit has some damn flyer, message of Jesus and other misc crap. Maybe it will help if I paint you a picture first. I have a backpack weighing around 60lbs and I’m pulling one of The Kid’s wheeled athletic bags with one of the Flying Scotsman’s bags attached to that. The Flying Scotsman is carrying two more athletic bags over his shoulders. I respond to a guy trying to offer a CD of some church choir singing by Salmon Springs Fountain and I finally erupt.

“Look at everything we are carrying.

Does it really appear we need some other shred of crap?”

Sure it was not just him but I had to let it out before somebody died, he just happened to be in the way.

*One of these days I’ll tell you about these guys.

disclaimer:

the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

OK, it protects the guilty also.

An open letter to the homeless of Portland from one of your own.

What you will find here are a number of generalities. Because of this chances are only one or two may apply to you so do not take this as a blanket statement towards the entire homeless community.

• Stop asking me for cigarettes. I paid for them with money I earned.. Offering me a quarter will not work either. Granted it’s a fair price for one but what good is that quarter going to do me once I am out of smokes?

• Stop walking down the middle of the damn sidewalk. Find the flow and go with it. Most of the people you encounter have someplace to be in a limited amount of time.

• Stop flicking your cigarette butts where ever the hell you please. There are more than enough ashtrays and trashcans for these.

• If you are getting on the MAX with many other riders and the train is already packed just wait for the next if you are staying within Fareless Square.

• I have a question for those of you with dogs. What the hell are you thinking? You can’t even take care of yourself and you decide now would be a good time to take on the responsibility of a pet?!? Does the dog get your leftovers or does he get a food that will provide for his/her nutritional needs. Oh yeah, when was the last time your dog saw a vet for a regular check up? Sure they are cute and fun to play with but you are in no position to give that animal what it really needs aside from your love.

• If you have to get drunk is there really any reason for being a belligerent ass also? I understand the desire to get a buzz on but that does not give you the right to become a problem to others.

• If you’re going into some business while others are, offer to hold the door open once in a while.

• Make a point to pick up at least one piece of trash a day.

• To the panhandlers, I realize you can claim freedom of speech but you also need to realize it can be interpreted as harassment when it happens ten times between lunch and the office. And your sad story about how hungry you are holds no water whatsoever. You as well as I know there are plenty of service providers and no reason for ANYBODY to starve in Portland.

• To those of you who spend every day running from one appointment to another in search of public assistance I have one thing to say. If you spent that time seeking employment you would be off the street by now.

• On Friday and Saturday nights when people are seated out side restaurants there is no need for a pack of you to schlep down the sidewalk making a crapload of noise. Those folks are paying good money for dinner and chances are you are not, I repeat NOT invited.

• If you are sleeping outside clean up your area so it will appear nobody has been sleeping there. Some of you folks seem to have a talent for generating copious amount of trash. Stop leaving it for others to clean up.

• And finally, QUIT ASKING ME FOR CIGARETTES!

While the general public will always see us as a nuisance most of the time others may see a difference and every bit helps.

Sincerely,

PDX Urban Outdoorsman