PDX Urban Outdoorsman

     So last night I was coming back from a meeting in north Portland on the MAX train.  Since I was broke I had not paid the fare.  When The train stopped at Mississippi avenue fare inspectors entered the train and I quickly departed the other end.  I was almost off the platform when one of the inspectors called out to me wanting to see proof of payment.  I had a choice at this point, I could either lie about the fare machine not working or tell the truth and hope for the best.  When I was younger I would have attempted the lie but today I know better.

     The officer asked why I did not have the fare.  My response was plain and simple, “I just don’t have it.  I’m broke and needed to get somewhere and rode the train without paying”  The officer told me that was about as honest as it gets and did not ask for ID but instead gave me a courtesy ticket that was good for an hour to get where I needed to go.  He also told me he did not want to see again that night which sounded like a fantastic idea to me.

     There is a very simple lesson to be learned here and that is those in a position authority are not the enemy. Most police/security/whatever would prefer not have any trouble as much as you or I.  Give an officer respect and you will generally get that same respect in return.  Even if I had received a ticket for the offense I would still feel the same.  Most of my friends have no understanding of my logic no matter how I try to explain it

Sincerely,
Pdxurbanoutdoorsman

Don’t you love it when people choose to ignore good advice?  Last night when I was bedding down for the evening some people showed up for the same reason.  The spot they picked was close to a catch basin where storm runoff would soak their belongings.  Being the wonderful person I am I suggested they may not want to set up where they where.  The response I received was rather colorful to say the least.  I was told they would bed down any damn place they pleased and there was nothing I could do about it.

Around three a.m. I woke to find they were gone and a river running through where they were.  I smiled and went back to sleep.

If this makes me a bad person so be it.

Sincerely,
Pdxurbanoutdoorsman

     Some weeks ago I received a new pair of black Carhartt double knee work pants.  For those who do not know these are absolutely the the most durable pants known to mankind which makes them a highly sought after commodity here on the street.

     How many benches in downtown PDX do you think would have white taffy stuck to them?  There was one that I was able to find with my ass when I sat down.  Of course it was not a matter of just sitting and then wondering what was under my ass.  No.  I sat there for a good 30 to 45 minutes while my body heat softened the offending sugary substance so it would be firmly ground into the weave of the material.  Basically the taffy had become one with the pants leaving me with an oh so wonderful white spot on my flat ass.  Needless to say I felt like quite the dork.

     Since this episode I have fashioned what is known as a buttflap out of leather.  While this may not be what one would call a fashion statement it does one hell of a job protecting my flat ass from taffy among other things.

     I guess the one positive from this is you the reader are now aware of just what a buttflap is.  Feel free to thank me for the learning experience.

Sincerely,
Pdxurbanoutdoorsman

Initially I was told this acronym  stood for Transition Projects Incorporated but it turns out I was misinformed.  It really stands for Temporarily Penned In.

And now you know.

Sincerely,
Pdxurbanoutdoorsman