You Poor Bastard
There is this guy I hang out with named John who is just your average every day kinda guy. That is until you strap a backpack onto him at which point he becomes (insert superhero intro music here) ”You Poor Bastard”. A man with the ability to have strangers offer any manner of help without solicitation. He can be sitting on a bench and people will walk up and offer him food, money, tobacco and what-not. Place me on the same bench and people just see some guy with no needs. While I do not really have any needs to be addressed by the general public walking by it would be nice to be “You Poor Bastard” once in a while.
I have yet to figure out just what it is that causes others to see him as “You Poor Bastard” unless it is triggered be pheromones. If I am correct this could be a marketable commodity. While some may see the market for such a product to be rather small I see it to be quite large.
Business men: Say he needs to pitch a bad idea with a poor presentation that would normally be laughed out of the board. With a splash of ”You Poor Bastard” his audience would be captured by the idea and his worth to the company would skyrocket.
Sales men: This guy would be able to sell even the most hardcore penny pincher on that great rust preventative undercoating for the new car being offered eventually making him salesman of the month.
Contractor: Instead of adding just a bedroom the customer would like the idea of a rumpus room, media room, new family room and wet bar for each of these additions.
The product would be sold as a scent called (are you ready?) Success.
OK, maybe I need a dash of Success to get this idea off and running. Is that a paradox?
Sincerely,
Pdxurbanoutdoorsman