PDX Urban Outdoorsman

     Last night after having laid out my bed-roll and gotten comfy for the night a scary thought occurred to me.  It’s actually amazing just how comfortable I have become living out here.  To many the thought of sleeping outside in 35º weather is unacceptable but I find it to be easy and quite comfortable.

     Sure it takes one mummy bag inside of another but I was toasty warm with the most striking skyline view of downtown PDX.  Many have suggested that I must really have my shit together to be able to accomplish this and to those I cannot help but laugh.  Honestly….  If  I really have my shit together do you think I would be out here?  All I have done is use some common sense in the decisions made out here.

     One of those decisions is that I must carry a monstrous backpack.  That is one capable of carrying two sleeping bags,  at least two changes of clothing,  various toiletries, misc crap and reading material.
     Another was to actually keep the gear that got me through the previous winter.  That being a good coat that is not only warm but also waterproof and sleeping gear.  I run into far to many who discard perfectly good equipment because of a change in the weather.  If you should ask these same people what their plans are for getting off the street you will receive nothing but a blank stare.  These are the same people I see who tell me how cold they were last night.  I really have no pity for these since they have created their own situation.
     The final decision is to ALWAYS sleep in an area that is covered.  Sure there were many nights during the summer I could have slept under the stars but I have to be practical.  Hell we all know if I was to choose an uncovered place I would be carpet bombed by geese because of their hatred for me.  Again, I run into far too many who tell me how all their gear got soaked because of the camp spot chosen.  Give me a break already!  Portland is known for rain.  Besides, just how difficult is it to take a look at the weather forecast at some point during the day.

As usual if my rather callous attitude means I am a bad person than so be it.

common sense: If there truly was such a thing wouldn’t we all have it?

     Here in Portland is a place called Sisters of the Road Cafe which offers many services but it’s main attraction is is the Cafe.  Here is a quote from their site regarding the cafe and how it operates.

Meals at Sisters Of The Road cost $1.25 and can be paid for in many ways, including: cash, barter work and food stamps.  Meals are served with hospitality and a smile.  There is always a choice of at least two hot, delicious and nutritious entrees and always a vegetarian option.

      Recently they have run into the same problem many other service providers have experienced with IV drug users leaving used needles around and drug sales just outside the front door.  Their method for dealing with the problem is unique if not moronic.  Starting today they are closing their doors for a period of four weeks with the intent of holding a “customer forum” to figure out just how to fix the problem.  In a touchy feely way this sounds wonderful until you really examine this concept.

     I will break this down into just why I think they have chosen this way to deal with the problem.  I’m of the impression this choice was made to provide their customers a sense of “ownership”.  This ownership concept already exists with the ability to volunteer in a number of capacities.

     Exactly why the staff will not step up and deal with the problem is beyond logic if you ask me.  They are placing themselves into a position where they do not have to make any kind of decisions that could be seen as unpopular.  As best as I can see this makes them nothing more than food service workers.  If this is the case Sisters should hire from within the homeless population since there are many with food service experience who could do the job just as well if not better.

     How I would address the problem.
1. Those who have created the problem should be excluded from receiving services of ANY kind.  Not all are deserving of the help being provided.  There are plenty of other places to get a meal so nobody will starve.
2.  Make those who choose to sell infront of the Cafe uncomfortable through the use of either digital cameras or cameras mounted to the building.  The last thing a dealer wants is to be photographed.
3.  Start calling the police about drug sales.  Dealers and their customers will take their business elsewhere quickly.

     See how easy that was?  Three simple steps and they do not have to close their doors to the community they claim to be helping.

     Does this make me a genius?

Sincerely
Pdxurbanoutdoorsman

Many people ask why I spend most time with a pair of headphones on and I tell them it is to block out the jerks that I have to deal with on a daily basis.  It’s either that or lose my voice from yelling at others to STFU.

No matter what services are offered, some of those receiving will find a reason to complain.  One day I was at Blanchet House for dinner and was listening to some moron complain about the meal that was being served.  This would not have bothered me so much except this guy was going through the line for his third serving.  Another time I was at Julia West House and had the joy of listening to some other scholar bitching about how they could do so much more because he knew there was more money to be spent on services.  I attempted to explain how things work in the real world as opposed to his little fantasy world with no luck at all.

When are some of these folks going to understand any service provided is a blessing?  It seems people believe the service providers owe them something for some damn reason. 

I truely believe the only reason some people are alive is because it’s illegal to kill them. Does this make me a bad person? If so I am more than willing to live with that.

I failed to tell you in my last post that when the officers asked us to leave the spot where we were to find a new place and they would not bother us and I was dumbass enough to believe it.  For about the past week I have been getting visits from Portland Patrol telling me I can receive a ticket for “camping” where I have chosen.  I can not wait until the day they decide to write the ticket. 

Consider this before anything else, these “officers” really had to hunt to find me so that means the general public does not see me either.  As best I can see this is enforcement strictly for the sake of enforcement.  There are no complaints about me and the two others there with me and we DO NOT leave any kind of mess at all.  If you consider the troubles I read about in the paper on a daily basis these guys are wasting their time and efforts to bother me and my friends.  I know the day they decide to issue the ticket there will be no talking them out of it but I will have my opinion known by them.

Of course they will tell about the cold weather shelters that have been set up since the snow has started.  I stayed at one on Monday of last week and did not get much in the way of sleep.  All night being jabbed in the ribs by the people on either side of me.  It’s not those peoples fault because they wedge us in like sardines in a can.  Since I have a sleeping bag that is rated to sub-zero temps wouldn’t it make sense for that space to be freed up for somebody not prepared for the weather?

There is little chance for experiencing any kind of dignity out here and I have found one, taking care of myself and having room to actually roll over while sleeping.

IS THIS TOO MUCH TO ASK?!?

The other part I loath is when they tell me they understand how I feel. BULLSHIT!  I would not wish this life on anybody except for these jerks.  Go ahead and say you feel for my situation but not that you understand.  When they decide to bed down for the night they don’t need to lay down a bedroll and sleeping bag.  They don’t need to sleep in their clothes. And they are not brought out of a deep sleep by every little sound.  Do they remember the last time they were waken up by a raccoon trying to open your backpack?

They can go ahead and jail me but I will continue to do as I am doing no matter what they say or tickets they issue.

  While I am aware this would happen it does not change the fact that it pisses me off to no end.  I have been camping under the Hawthorne Bridge since my last post, quite comfortably I might add.  When the weather started to turn wet as it always does here in Portland others started showing up which I had no problem with.  Every morning when we woke we would clean up the area of any trash, even that which we did not generate.  Because of this the police, and Portland Patrol would allow us to use the bridge as a shelter from the rain as long as we left at a reasonable hour.

About a week ago a group of gutter punks showed up with shopping carts, dogs, bikes and mass amounts of garbage.  Generally they would leave their crap there ALL DAMN day long with one of them staying behind to keep an eye on the stuff, like anybody actually would steal any of that shit.  After about a week of this the police asked everybody to move on and told us there would be no more sleeping anywhere along the waterfront.

While people where gathering belonging I could hear these shitheads complain of how they were always being told to move on by the police. At that point I fucking lost it! I turned and asked if any of them understood the concept of cause and effect.  I told them there was no trouble for the rest of us before they showed up with their mess noise and other bullshit.

When they first showed up I saw the writing on the wall and scouted out a new dry area sheltered from the wind.  People have asked where I went I refused to tell them and told them to do the same.  Find a place that is small, and out of the way.  Since the place is small this group of jerks will not be interested since there is not enough room for all of them.

Any of those little shits show up and I’m going to stab them in the neck and twist.

If ever you believe your life is screwed up just spend an afternoon at Day Watch and you will realize things are not nearly as bad as you thought.

On the other side of the room is Filibuster who can talk and talk and not say a damn thing. It seems he has tiny amounts of information on a broad array of subjects, none of which is accurate. One night last week he was telling of how not only God create, but all of us could. Intrigued I asked him to show me, that was a mistake that I would later pay for. After a long diatribe of how he chose not to do so for entertainment value I let him know I just wanted him to prove his statement. It’s not like I was asking much of him, just a pickle. Is a pickle too much to ask for? Needless to say I did not get a pickle. From that point he followed me like a lost puppy spouting off with all manner of crap no living soul would show any interest in what-so-ever. At one point I told him we would have to agree to disagree but that did not work. Eventually I had no choice but to leave with what little sanity I had left. Yesterday I saw him approaching with a gleam in his eye and had no choice but to nip this problem in the bud. I looked at him like a dog that had just soiled the carpet and said in a very stern voice while shaking a finger in his direction “NO!”. It seemed to work because he wont even make eye contact with me now.

I have learned to savor the small victories.

With breakfast being served at paranoia park I was able to sleep in till 8 o’clock this morning. Beats the hell out of 5:30… Plus I don’t have to start my day at Portland Rescue mission which is a good start to any day. It’s not that I don’t appreciate the Missionn so much as the clients. Unfortunately the staff at the mission perpetuate the problem. Oh sure they have rules that are read prior to every meal it’s just that they are not enforced. As you can guess this means there are those who choose to break those rules blatantly w/o so much as a peep from the staff. The feed at paranoia goes on for about 2 hours which makes for a nice relaxed morning.

What the hell did I do this afternoon?

Oh yeah, I watched Slingblade on my laptop from the library. WiFi and I can charge the battery for the evening so I can write this from the Portland Building.

Had dinner under the Burnside bridge and ate like a pig as did The Kid and the Flying Scotsman*. Before dinner I found The Kid at the waterfront talking with The Old Man. While gathering The Kid’s crap some guy walked up asking for a light. I thought he had a rolley but it turned out to be a joint. It was his 27th birthday so he was treating himself and I was lucky enough to get 2 hits. As you can imagine that was a nice appetite enhancement.

Ydnew was there and put on some entertainment before the meal. Shortly after that the Shadow Boxer showed up but he was taking the night off which meant he didn’t paint his head with something that will stick to it.

I almost forgot to tell you about this little gem. So I’m walking along Waterfront Park and every nitwit has some damn flyer, message of Jesus and other misc crap. Maybe it will help if I paint you a picture first. I have a backpack weighing around 60lbs and I’m pulling one of The Kid’s wheeled athletic bags with one of the Flying Scotsman’s bags attached to that. The Flying Scotsman is carrying two more athletic bags over his shoulders. I respond to a guy trying to offer a CD of some church choir singing by Salmon Springs Fountain and I finally erupt.

“Look at everything we are carrying.

Does it really appear we need some other shred of crap?”

Sure it was not just him but I had to let it out before somebody died, he just happened to be in the way.

*One of these days I’ll tell you about these guys.

disclaimer:

the names have been changed to protect the innocent.

OK, it protects the guilty also.

An open letter to the homeless of Portland from one of your own.

What you will find here are a number of generalities. Because of this chances are only one or two may apply to you so do not take this as a blanket statement towards the entire homeless community.

• Stop asking me for cigarettes. I paid for them with money I earned.. Offering me a quarter will not work either. Granted it’s a fair price for one but what good is that quarter going to do me once I am out of smokes?

• Stop walking down the middle of the damn sidewalk. Find the flow and go with it. Most of the people you encounter have someplace to be in a limited amount of time.

• Stop flicking your cigarette butts where ever the hell you please. There are more than enough ashtrays and trashcans for these.

• If you are getting on the MAX with many other riders and the train is already packed just wait for the next if you are staying within Fareless Square.

• I have a question for those of you with dogs. What the hell are you thinking? You can’t even take care of yourself and you decide now would be a good time to take on the responsibility of a pet?!? Does the dog get your leftovers or does he get a food that will provide for his/her nutritional needs. Oh yeah, when was the last time your dog saw a vet for a regular check up? Sure they are cute and fun to play with but you are in no position to give that animal what it really needs aside from your love.

• If you have to get drunk is there really any reason for being a belligerent ass also? I understand the desire to get a buzz on but that does not give you the right to become a problem to others.

• If you’re going into some business while others are, offer to hold the door open once in a while.

• Make a point to pick up at least one piece of trash a day.

• To the panhandlers, I realize you can claim freedom of speech but you also need to realize it can be interpreted as harassment when it happens ten times between lunch and the office. And your sad story about how hungry you are holds no water whatsoever. You as well as I know there are plenty of service providers and no reason for ANYBODY to starve in Portland.

• To those of you who spend every day running from one appointment to another in search of public assistance I have one thing to say. If you spent that time seeking employment you would be off the street by now.

• On Friday and Saturday nights when people are seated out side restaurants there is no need for a pack of you to schlep down the sidewalk making a crapload of noise. Those folks are paying good money for dinner and chances are you are not, I repeat NOT invited.

• If you are sleeping outside clean up your area so it will appear nobody has been sleeping there. Some of you folks seem to have a talent for generating copious amount of trash. Stop leaving it for others to clean up.

• And finally, QUIT ASKING ME FOR CIGARETTES!

While the general public will always see us as a nuisance most of the time others may see a difference and every bit helps.

Sincerely,

PDX Urban Outdoorsman