PDX Urban Outdoorsman

     This morning at about 5AM I was awaken by a civilian who figured I would prefer a donut over sleep.  I wake to hear the question “Sir, would you like a donut?”.  Since this gentleman is unaware that I did not get to bed until shortly after 11PM last night I choose to be polite and tell him all I want is to sleep but thanks anyways.

     Many would think the episode to be over and would be wrong.

     This gentleman decided to leave the donut next to me on my bedroll.  While this may seem like a good idea what he really did was drop off some rat bait right next to my fucking head.

     While this mans heart may, I repeat may have been in the right place all he did was create inconvenience for me.

     In the future if you should decide to provide help for those living on the street where you live please think of a few things before doing so.

1.  We are just like you and need our sleep which can be more difficult in this situation
2. Just randomly dropping off food can create a good deal of problems such as attracting critters to ones camp.
3.  If you have the time go to one of your local service providers like a mission to possibly volunteer.
4.  If time is an issue for you consider making a donation to one of your local service providers in the way of blankets, sleeping bags or clothing.

     I know many will read these words and think I am a complete jerk for taking such an attitude.  Before doing so ask yourself if you would like being waken up by a complete stranger in the wee hours of the morning.  For those who still believe me to be an asshole please click here.

     As per usual, if this makes me a bad person so be it.

Sincerely,
Pdxurbanoutdoorsman

When you fill your nalgene 4 times with orange juice within a 24 hr period sleep is not an option.

1 nalgene = 32+ oz
multiply that by four and you get 128+ oz
128+ oz = more than a damn gallon
more than a damn gallon = gotta pee all damn night long.

Sincerely,
Pdxurbanoutdoorsman

If you have been reading my blog you know I was sleeping under the Hawthorne Bridge awhile ago.  As most things are cyclical so are the places I am allowed to sleep.  Under the Hawthorne are many concrete pillars, the concrete roadway above and the concrete ground below where I lay myself down for the night.  Having that much concrete around makes for an accustic nightmare with all the echos.

Now, imagine you are asleep sometime around two in the morning, all warm and comfy.  Now imagine that while you where dead to the world a number of geese decided to become your “roommates”.  It seems just the action of rolling over in your sleep is enough to give these damn birds a reason to start honking as iff their lives had been threatened.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9AqyBEvFyE]

As you can further imagine I was brought out of the most wonderful slumber to find I was surrounded by these geese that were perhaps four feet from me. You will never really understand the size of these animals until you deal with something like this.  I am happy I do not suffer from spastic colon disorder otherwise I probably would have shat myself right then and there.

I am quite willing to believe some of you thought I was going to write about something completely different when you saw the title of this post.
My apologies for getting your hopes up you pervs.

Sincerely,
Pdxurbandoutdoorsman.